Besides all the craziness with the food poisoning/flu, mastitis, holes in my teeth, and major shoulder pain, it's back...the arthritis. I seriously need to stay pregnant...forever. I feel so amazing with all that relaxin hormone pulsing through my veins. They need to bottle that stuff.
My wrists are crunching a bit again. My knees are super stiff, especially in the morning or if they're bent for any amount of time. My pointer and middle finger joints are swollen. The calcium deposits are getting larger. Carrying our little miss chunk chunk for any amount of time hurts my back. I hesitate wearing my wedding ring because it gets super tight by morning. Most mornings I'm so tired I just wait for the older kids to come wake me up and even then lounge around in bed until I absolutely have to get up and make their breakfast.
With all this I think back on Rees Howells Intercessor and am encouraged to use every instant of pain as a reminder to pray for our dear friend who's suffered from arthritis for year, daily. Yet in asking how to pray I hear nothing. I'm tired of the aches...I'm tired of the pangs...I'm tired of being tired., but most of all I'm tired of the silence...which just gives me the hunger I need to pursue the Healer, Abba, Creator...and change.
Lord, I don't get it. I don't understand the why of the arthritis and health issues or even the silence. But thank you! Thank you for calling me out of my comfort to seek you. Thank you for the opportunity to praise You in the midst of pain. You are GOOD and Your mercy is new every morning, it endures forever. Thank you for a glimpse at the reality of Your grace. God, Show me how to obtain ears to hear You...I desire to know what You are saying FOR REAL!...not just nudges in the right direction, but direct instructions. Get me there...